real life

Of Goals and Striving

I am a goal oriented person. I have to be careful because I can get hyper focused on a goal and in the process become not a great friend.

When I did 30 before 30 it was a vivid reminder that I have had the opportunity to do so much and I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had. I’ve achieved things that 12 year old me never would have dreamed. Those four sheets of paper represent the current four Huge Goals I have. The two on the right I know I can achieve given time and effort. Both feel big and scary? But I can work hard and achieve them.

The two on the left are different. I cannot work hard or save up my way into them. If there was  a way, I would have done it. But these aren’t strive until you get there goals. And that is frustrating as we have all had those things. But for me, what I have found is when I strive for those left two goals…I move farther away from the right two. While I try to catch what I cannot seem to figure out it sabotages me for the goals I know I can do.

I have decided to stop striving.

And because I am a visual person, I lit those two sheets of paper on fire. I will no longer try to create situations that will make those two goals come alive. Instead I will take a deep breath, step back, and if those are in God’s plans He’ll have to open the door and likely push me through it. I am going to focus my energy on pursuing those things that I know I am supposed to be pursuing and goodness knows, those are big enough on their own.

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Participation Awards

I have some words.

First, if you cannot make your point without misrepresenting “the other guy” then you need to sit back and re-evaluate your point before you make it. But that is not what I want to talk about today. I want to talk about the Participation Trophy.

Some people, when they want to smear those younger than them (especially those in the 18-30ish age bracket) discredit what that they have to say by pointing out that these kids are entitled and therefore what they have to say is irrelevant. “Those entitled millenials”. It’s been said enough that’s considered a fact, and whenever you point out someone who isn’t entitled? “Well they are the exception.” Low hanging fruit is the participation trophy. It goes like this: “kids today! They think they are so entitled because they grew up getting a trophy for losing!”

Lets back up and point out a fact: Every generation has thought the new generation are “young punks”. This is not a new thing. Every generation has pointed out how much harder they had it than the younger generation. (One of the greatest mysteries of my life is how even the friends whose parents and grandparents grew up in Southern California said how they walked to school uphill both ways in the snow.)

The participation trophy isn’t rewarding kids for losing or “not trying hard enough” or to “spare their feelings”. It’s to acknowledge hey you participated in this thing- good for you! Sometimes you can give your best and not win. Why should we not encourage kids to try again next time? “That’s what the trophy is for! To have them try harder next time so they’ll win!” you may say. Sometimes no matter how hard you try you will never win. There will always be someone faster or smarter than you. That doesn’t mean the effort you gave is worthless. And that is what the participation trophy is about. To show,  you showed up and you tried.

“But, kids need to learn that in the Real World sometimes you just lose. You don’t get the job, you get dumped, you miss out on the promotion.” Yes, and it stings and is horrible. But technically? Each of those times you get a Real Life Participation Trophy. You learned something. Each job you don’t get, you learn a bit more on interviewing for the next time. Each time a relationship falls apart, you learn how to be a better person next time or see the signs that this isn’t going well.

And those are my words on that topic.

A Picture Summary

The last few months of last year I was pretty much in survival mode. Here are the highlights of that time:

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Near the end of September, my grammy went to to be with the Lord. She was 90 years old, and I will forever be grateful that her decline, while it was a hell week, was only a week. This picture was taken just a couple weeks prior. I don’t think I’ll ever come to a stage where I don’t miss her.

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For my 30th birthday weekend the Courtneys came out, and we conquered corn mazes and it was a great time with friends.

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…And my big ‘finale’ to 30 before 30: going on the seaplane.

Shortly after the midget moved to Colorado to start new adventures. Which I could have sworn I had an artsy picture of packed boxes but apparently I do not. Also I got to meet my dear friend’s new baby in November, who is the most expressive little guy I’ve ever seen.

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A bit late, but hello 2016

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Hello 2016,

You’re now 11 days old, somehow. So far you’ve started with a bang and (hopefully) the last bit of the Snowpocalypse . 2015 saw my family saying good bye to three family members as they left this life. 2016 you are not starting off on a good foot by us also saying good bye to another uncle.

You’re the first year I won’t have my grammy around. I know some day that will become real, but it still has not. It barely had become real that grandpa was gone.

Irrevocable change has happened, and there will be more to come. I am just hoping it will be of a different nature than 2015’s change.

2016, I apprehensively look forward to what you contain.

Lost and Found: A Fairy Tale

lostandfound

Available on Kindle

Another re-release from me! My second novel Lost and Found: A Fairy Tale with a newly designed cover by Annie J Designs.

Lost and Found: A Fairy Tale is a follow up to Worlds Collide: A Fairy Tale, while many of the characters from the first book are present, it focuses more in on Jer’s daughter Katrina and a new character. Whereas the first book it is debated whether or not it is science fiction or fantasy, Lost and Found definitely falls into the fantasy category. I wanted to expand more on the ‘dunami world and the creatures that lived there. And expand on different cultures beyond the one of Karipol.

To finish off here are three random facts about Lost and Found: A Fairy Tale

1) Caleus, the new main character, his name is based off of Calcifer from Howl’s Moving Castle.

2) The header for this wordpress was featured in the original printing of the book.

3) The day my first copy of this book came in the mail I got my driver’s license. I wanted to refuse to take the test that day because I didn’t want to tarnish the memory of the release date with potentially failing my driver’s test. I passed, and spent a few minutes after my test telling the lady who had given me the behind the wheel my test about my new book.

Of Having Thick Hair

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Source: Pinterest

This is all so true. When my hair was long, I could be out in single digit temperatures with just my hair down and I did not need a scarf. And styling it? HA. It will do it’s own thing. I have limited say in the outcome. As Laura once said, it ‘evolves’ throughout the day. As for how long it takes the dry? I wash it every evening…and there are many days that it never completely dries.