I am a goal oriented person. I have to be careful because I can get hyper focused on a goal and in the process become not a great friend.
When I did 30 before 30 it was a vivid reminder that I have had the opportunity to do so much and I am so grateful for the opportunities I have had. I’ve achieved things that 12 year old me never would have dreamed. Those four sheets of paper represent the current four Huge Goals I have. The two on the right I know I can achieve given time and effort. Both feel big and scary? But I can work hard and achieve them.
The two on the left are different. I cannot work hard or save up my way into them. If there was a way, I would have done it. But these aren’t strive until you get there goals. And that is frustrating as we have all had those things. But for me, what I have found is when I strive for those left two goals…I move farther away from the right two. While I try to catch what I cannot seem to figure out it sabotages me for the goals I know I can do.
I have decided to stop striving.
And because I am a visual person, I lit those two sheets of paper on fire. I will no longer try to create situations that will make those two goals come alive. Instead I will take a deep breath, step back, and if those are in God’s plans He’ll have to open the door and likely push me through it. I am going to focus my energy on pursuing those things that I know I am supposed to be pursuing and goodness knows, those are big enough on their own.
I would like to say this is the most hipster picture I have ever taken and I absolutely love it.
Lantern Fest is magical, I highly recommend if you have the opportunity to go. I ended up trying for pictures from my big camera and the camera phone and these two were the best to turn out.
(Little did I know that these would be the last pictures I took with my camera phone as the next morning the phone died.)
This is looking to be a full summer, and May has been a calm before the storm. Here’s to a storm full of adventures and patience for when adventures go awry.
The last few months of last year I was pretty much in survival mode. Here are the highlights of that time:
Near the end of September, my grammy went to to be with the Lord. She was 90 years old, and I will forever be grateful that her decline, while it was a hell week, was only a week. This picture was taken just a couple weeks prior. I don’t think I’ll ever come to a stage where I don’t miss her.
For my 30th birthday weekend the Courtneys came out, and we conquered corn mazes and it was a great time with friends.
…And my big ‘finale’ to 30 before 30: going on the seaplane.
Shortly after the midget moved to Colorado to start new adventures. Which I could have sworn I had an artsy picture of packed boxes but apparently I do not. Also I got to meet my dear friend’s new baby in November, who is the most expressive little guy I’ve ever seen.
You’re now 11 days old, somehow. So far you’ve started with a bang and (hopefully) the last bit of the Snowpocalypse . 2015 saw my family saying good bye to three family members as they left this life. 2016 you are not starting off on a good foot by us also saying good bye to another uncle.
You’re the first year I won’t have my grammy around. I know some day that will become real, but it still has not. It barely had become real that grandpa was gone.
Irrevocable change has happened, and there will be more to come. I am just hoping it will be of a different nature than 2015’s change.
2016, I apprehensively look forward to what you contain.
……strange things you find at your local Subway.
Ok. I was #alltheemotions this day.
On our drive to the Monterey Bay Aquarium, I tried calling my Grandma to try to talk to her. I talked to my aunt to see if that would be more stressful to have me calling or if it would be ok, and my aunt said it would be ok to call. I couldn’t get ahold of Grandma, but another aunt was staying near Grandpa’s side and I got ahold of her and she asks me ‘do you want to talk to Grandpa?’ The last I had heard was that he probably wasn’t going to make it, I hardly knew how to process this information. But it is a blessing I will never forget. I got to talk to Grandpa, and tell him I love him. That ended up being the last time I got to talk to him.
My emotions were already all over the place because despite everything going on, I was so excited about going to this aquarium. I had gone when I was kid and always wanted to go back.
First the sea lions on Pier 39. I will never pass up an opportunity to see sea lions, or sea life. The Musée Mécanique, I would not have known this museum/arcade was there if Laura hadn’t pointed it out. There were coin operated games that were hundred years old…and they still worked. (more…)