I think it is safe to say we have all procrastinated at some point in time. That task which we know we’ll feel better if we just get it done…but instead we end up getting an amazing amount done of everything else we needed to do. But what about procrastination of something that you love to do? This is the brand of procrastination that I’m finding sneaking up on me lately. That dreaded task? It’s been fairly easy for me to just get it done and check it off my list. That article that I know I’ll enjoy researching and writing? Keeps getting put off until just the right time…the right frame of mind….or when I have a ‘big enough time frame’.
*Shakes head*…and with that time to go write.
I asked a friend today if she had any ideas of what I should write about next. She said food! And the allure of food. That is the last thing I should be writing on! It is fairly well documented that I don’t care a whole lot about food. I am grateful to have it and to have easy access to food, and live in a society where generally anything is accessible any time of the year. I am grateful that my animals are a bit on the plump side because it means I can afford to fill their tummies and that it’s just a short drive into town to get them food. (I am also grateful that my saint bernard has a small appetite.)
But the concept of getting tired of something, or the joy to making an elaborate meal is lost on me. I should probably not admit in writing how many times I’ve made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for work. But her statement did get me thinking and reminded me of a podcast I listened to the other day. In this podcast it was presented that we eat certain things (junk food, fast food, generally anything that is considered ‘bad’ for you) not because we’re craving it but because we feel we should be able to eat it. More of an attitude of ‘I should be able to eat whatever I want’, but no actual ‘I am hungry for this!’.
I realized when listening, generally, that is how I feel. I don’t eat in the evenings. If there is an event, or I would be offending a host I do, but on an average old day, I do not eat in the evening. This has been my diet since 2007. I know how much food to give my body during the day and I keep hydrated. I have this figured. But I come home from work and I’ll head for the freezer where I know mom hides the chocolate and the majority of the time I’m not craving chocolate. I just feel like I want chocolate, so I start searching the freezer for the chocolate. Normally, I end up closing the freezer door and making tea instead, and sometimes I take the sweet thing and put it in my purse to have around lunch the next day. But I wonder, why is it so difficult some days to close the refrigerator. It’s not because I’m hungry. It’s not because this is something new I’m trying. Even after all this time, there is part of me that feels like I should have what I want (and then the bigger lie) that ‘everyone else can eat what they want and not gain weight’.
Apparently I do have something to say about food. While I’m sure for some people the allure of food is a desire to explore new textures and tastes and experiment with spices and see what creation they can concoct. I think for some of us it is an attitude of I should be able to have what I want. We’re used to getting what we want, when we want it. ‘Wait’ or ‘no’ are dirty words. (I’m generalizing here and acknowledging that.) But even, for me, after I’ve seen proof that for me to not eat unless I am hungry gives positives results, it is still a subtle nagging struggle. But how better to win a struggle then to understand it?
Disclaimer: There are generalizations in this post and I do not mean to offend. I am not addressing anyone who is struggling with an eating disorder here or anyone who has food intolerances. I am fortunate to have never had to struggle with eating disorders, I also am not allergic to anything. For the latter, I’ve seen the struggle it can be to be intolerant to certain foods that are in what seems like everything, and I do not mean to slight that struggle in anyway. Same goes for eating disorders, I do not mean to slight that struggle many people have.
I, like most Americans over the age of 12, have a cell phone. It does everything I need it to do. It receives calls, texts, has a somewhat decent in the loosest sense of the word camera, fits in my pocket, and has a picture of my cat as the background. It even has a full keyboard so when my sister and I have full blown theological discussions over text message it takes less time to type out. Because we do not use text speech. Ever. (#homeschoolers)
Here is where my little phone is different. The above list is all it does. It is, by today’s standards a Dumb Phone. And it is fine, it does everything I need it to do. If I upgraded to The Smart Phone, I know it would just mean I have 24/7 access to Pinterest. At this stage in my life, I do not need a smart phone. I can count all the times on one hand that it was a serious inconvenience to not have a smart phone. I’m normally either at my work or home office, or close enough to a Starbucks that I can use their wifi and logon with my itouch. And there is even….a whole morning once a week where I have no internet or cell reception.
And yet, I have found myself at the office hiding my little old phone in my pocket and keeping my itouch sitting out. Because it looks like an iPhone. And because I am the only one sitting in the meeting without a smart phone. This has only happened twice. But, that is enough to proof peer pressure is alive and well and does not end in high school. Even unspoken peer pressure, the desire to not appear ‘behind the times’ is strong…but for now the desire to save money on my monthly cellphone bill is stronger.
When you find yourself thinking, ‘if I was still blogging, I’d write about this!’, it’s probably time to start blogging again.
I pulled up my first try at a wordpress blog and see that the last post was July 14, 2012. Yes, normally this is called falling off the face of the planet. I have been keeping busy though. Last year was my first year participating in and completing NaNoWriMo, and now I am a writer for 412teens.org (which is awesome and you should really check out.)
If you know me, you know I’m not a creature who handles change well. Which is ironic considering much of my job is interpreting new technology. I like things staying the same. Which is why I was with LiveJournal for so long. I am very hobbity in that I like to be able to settle in and know that I can leave and have adventures(!)….but come back to warm and safe familiarity. Which is coming to my next point: TheLonelyIsle.net
Oh, The Lonely Isle, you have been my home on the web for the last decade. I originally created you as a place to host and show off my POTC premiere pictures. You were originally made on Microsoft Frontpage 2000 and it took me *months* to get you successfully switched over from the freebie host site you were on over to thelonelyisle.net. You’ve been through three complete overhauls in the last decade and never gotten much publicity. You managed to stay at the top of Google for years. You safely hosted the pictures from my Germany adventures and the reviews for my novels. You have been the source of explaining time and time again that I was not ‘lonely’ when I created you, nor was I going through a tough time of life. You are taken from both Tolkien’s and C.S. Lewis’s work. And now is the time to say goodbye.
When my yearly renewal came around in April, I knew it was time to pull the plug. I have done nothing with The Lonely Isle in the last couple years. It looks dated. It sits there and sucks up money. Since April I’ve been saying ‘next month I’ll make the decision!’….and then another month went by. It is set to expire next month unless I renew it for ‘one more month’ like I have been doing all year. This time however, I will not be hitting the renew button.
This new blog will devoted to this new stage of life. Before I had focused my blogging more on photography, and while I hope to still tinker with photography, I am going to put my time and effort into writing. I will also be linking back here to my writings on other websites. My dear friend suggested that I start a fictional serial here as well, which…we’ll see.